If it seems like my parenting style lacks healthy boundaries, that's a projection of your fears.
Respectful parenting doesn't mean passivity and I'm sorry that it does to you. Because what a limiting belief.
Not having a sense of ownership over who my kids are does not include that they run umuck on my boundaries.
Several things can be true at once, while it's true, I don't discipline my kids (the same way you don't discipline your friends when they do something you don't prefer) We talk it out and seek solutions together.
If you cant think of creative ways to work with your children when they do something you don't prefer, that's your issue.
I do not share all the work it takes me to remain whole, sovereign, myself in parenting 3 children, in honoring who they are, in honoring any other relationships.
There is a lot going on behind the scenes of what it takes to be an emotionally whole individual, work that, truly, not a lot of people have the understanding of or opportunity to do.
So you see me out here, being friends with my kids, having a genuine good time and you have to turn it negative somehow. But my boundaries won't let you dump your fear on me. Your discontentment, your limited outlook. You'll have to take that with you while we continue doing what serves us.
I had to learn this. This did not come naturally for me, the difference is, when I hear new information that could make me a better version of myself, I am already implementing it. Whether I see that it fits one kid and not the other, or if I see that it's best all the way around, it's already happening, so growth happens rapidly. This was true when I had limiting parenting beliefs and this is true now.
I did not become so different from "how I was raised" because of "how I was raised" I was on my merry way, living my miserable life, committed. Until my kids came along and I deeply felt they needed something from me that I didn't know how to be yet. That's why I changed. Because I listened to the needs of my children.
Louder than my doubt.
Louder than advice.
Louder than my "but what if"
And sure as shit , louder than your opinions.
Making our lives better was up to me. So I got better.
So here we are, living in our power that cannot be touched by your fear.