Laboring and Birthing while Autistic
As an autistic mother who has birthed three babies unmedicated, I think it is essential to prepare for birth by getting deeply in touch with how your body responds to stress. Knowing what your triggers are and knowing what it feels like leading up to sensory overwhelm. In some cases there can be indicators that you are heading toward complete meltdown, while sometimes it can go from 0-100 depending on the situation. Focusing on the indicators is the goal to successfully care for yourself in labor.
When you and your birth support person know what your indicators and triggers are, you can research and gain tools to help you avoid complete meltdown.
For me, tools include
-Deep breathing
Your breath is your power. It is the vehicle that fuels your blood and allows it to be circulated through your entire body. Breath cleanses everything. Learning to breathe correctly is a skill, filling the lungs all the way and emptying them completely will bring health to your body and your mind. Wim Hoff is an excellent source for breathwork.
- Focusing on staying or "getting back in" my body. I think all autists know what it feels like to detach. To look at what is happening from the outside. In birth (and really, most every situation) this makes things worse, so for me, focusing intently on consciously remaining in the moment is essential.
By self talk
"you are safe"
"You are strong"
"You can do this, you are already doing this"
"Your body is a safe place to be"
"Every wave of pressure bring you closer to your baby"
"Your body and your baby are working together for the game goal"
By being my own parent and mothering myself through the situation, being kind to myself instead of allowing shame for what is happening "not again! I thought we were past this! You are so weak!" To drive my focus away from caring for myself.
MAKING my body a comfortable place to be by acknowledging all the positive things it does for me. My body is the only home I will ever really truly have, so making it comfortable is not an option in my opinion. So that when I face a stressful situation, I'm already fluffing my figurative pillows instead of setting it all on fire and allowing my preprogrammed stress responses to take over while I'm rocking in the corner waiting for it to end. It won't end like that, but create more compounded trauma and bubble up constantly in other ways. I use all my tools and power to remain in my body and get through it.
- Ear Plugs!
Noise sensitivity is a huge thing for me, I also hear color so it can become very overwhelming. Having close, ear protection or having my birth support person have them is paramount in my success.
- Meditation
The hugest tool in my success in birth and life is meditation and the skill to be able to have a broader perspective. Simple visualizations like placing your focus on a point in the room (sometimes a tiny version of myself will live on my toe, also helping me to ground into my body but shifting my awareness elsewhere) using your breath to stay present. Talking with my spiritual support team and allowing their input to guide my strength and reignite my energy. Meditation for a tired body that feels ready to give up is an insurmountable tool, it really will show you how powerful your mind is. Mindstate is everything. Practicing meditation for 5 minutes a day reroutes pathways in your brain, it allows you to get quiet and get in touch with your own truth. I think all autists make excellent meditators. Because we hyper focus on things we like. What is meditation but focusing completely on a thing that calms you and brings you life. I think meditation portrayed as hour long power sessions in the lotus position is a disservice when it is so much more expansive. Meditation is doing things you can put your entire self into. Putting your attention on meditating while your body is not going through labor and practicing so that your default when your body IS In labor is to go to those peaceful spaces in your mind will be the most empowering thing you can do. You created that scenario on your own (or with guided meditation) before, so there is absolutely nothing stopping you from creating it again, even if your physical body is feeling stressed.
It is up to YOU to learn your needs, a lot of autistic people weren't necessarily raised in households that "got us" so it is essential to become our own parents and understand ourselves for the first time. Without judgement, but with open arms of compassion and the knowing that where a trigger exists, so does a tool to get you through it.
It is no different in labor. Using all your tools for self support, informing your birth team confidently of your needs, having your birth partner informed and ready as you are.
I often use the phrase "Set yourself up for success" this applies to sensory sensitivities. When you know you have a certain sensory need, prepare for that! Have ear plugs, have stim tools, create the environment you need to bring yourself back to center.
Your baby is working with you to create a life you both feel loved within long before birth, allow that knowing to extend to labor by loving and learning yourself through it.
When you clear all the potential noise from feeling overwhelmed, you create a direct line to self trust and working with your body to guide you through labor. Advocate for yourself unrelentingly and continue into your parenthood.
