Beyond Trauma

A lot of people still sitting in pain think it's absolutely impossible that I got up from mine.

They will lash out at new ideas, they will lash out at what could change their stories and identities.

People with childhood trauma and abuse cannot imagine being free from those wounds, we have been told it's a burden we have to carry forever, that not being properly loved by our parents or loved at all hurts so deeply that nothing could ever repair it.

This belief system is the equivalent of throwing an entire person in the trash and leaving them there to rot.

I am here saying that not being loved by my mother doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt ever, because I painstakingly sorted through that wound. I did not have a magic wand that made it all go away, I didn't even have an example of how to do this, how to travel through my pain for the last time. How to open that door of trauma I had held closed so desperately. I did it anyway.

It took a long time, I cried a lot. It was hard, impossible even, some days. But I chose to deeply heal. My childhood trauma does not define who I am, I get to define who I am. I am my own mother, I supply what she did not, I parent myself and my children, we are all seen heard and understood, because through my healing, I have navigated how. My inner child is no longer screaming, she sleeps, she laughs, she plays. She is present and joyful. So I can focus deeply on my own children's needs.

I could choose to see all the ways my mom failed me, abandoned me or I could see how

The person my mom was, was not someone I would even enjoy knowing or hanging out with or allowing near my children. Let alone trying to seek approval from or make proud. This belief is where my quote "I don't take advice from miserable people." Comes from, I don't care if you birthed me, if you are spreading your misery and pain onto people, I don't need your opinion.

I deeply began caring for myself, getting to know myself, I am the best mom to myself than anyone ever could be, my mom didn't abandon me, she was the adoptive caretaker until my own self mother could awaken.

What happened to you was horrific, I know how that feels, but maybe just maybe, it's time to explore that wound and grow past it.

Sincerely,

The empowered victim of childhood trauma who knows, experiences and lives different.

Not All Heros Wear Capes. Sometimes They Wear Diapers and Throw Tantrums.

If you begin your parenting journey thinking your kids ruined your “good times,” your friendships, your old way of life, you are going to have a bad time. You must realize that we agreed to this shift. That is why our children come to us, because wether we know it or not, we called them here.

To bring negativity to this dynamic is to resist the opportunity that our children so daringly bring. The beautiful and powerful shift to propel you forward in your life.

I invite you to see the parent/child dynamic as I have come to in my studies, in my awakening, in my removal of the mask over my eyes, you would do nothing but thank your children. All day long. Instead of perpetuate the low perspective that they drain you in any way. When you look at it in that way, it is the filter of which you will see everything about them.  This is the breeding ground for exhaustion and resentment. What a disservice to our greatest teachers.

They come in knowing everything about the most authentic version of ourselves and yet we insist on being bogged down by defeat we have learned to accept over the years. The not being good enough, the settling for mediocre relationships, the dysfunction we have accrued. We hang onto it with clenched fists and our children try so hard to transmute it into love and all we can see is that they take from us. They are not taking!! They are putting in you in touch with your limitless, it has been taken from you, forgotten, taught out of you. All they ask is that we let it go and all we can say is shit like “terrible twos”

No. They are moving up into their Solar Plexus, exploring their personal power. Look how beautifully demanding that child is. Is it time for you to speak your needs? Is it time for you to stop doing shit you hate? To flat out refuse participation? Is it time for you to scream no or scream to be seen by life? Holy shit, thank you child, for changing everything. For drawing attention to the bullshit I have been putting up with for a lifetime. They will cause such a rift between you and it, you will clash like thunder. Let it go.

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