When Ezekiel was around 18 months, life got really hard. Night terrors, sleep paralysis, fear...
I was so exhausted from staying up all night. Waking up to screaming, then Z waking Escher up, who then wanted to also nurse.
I got a lot of really unhelpful advice.
"It's a phase"
"Makes sense with the age."
"You just had a baby, right? That's probably it."
"My kid is the same, it's just how it is."
But I knew it was more. I knew that something was wrong.
So I started looking places that weren't so obvious. Instead of choosing to have sleep studies, like everyone suggested. That didn't feel right. But I knew something was deeply wrong.
So I saw a psychic. And my life pretty much really began.
Z was having these issues not because of age or brain function or troubles with little brother or self worth, but Z was being tormented by things I could not see.
Children are so in tune with what we have been taught to forget. They have a very thin veil between this 3d reality and every other space and time known to existence.
That makes them easy targets for torment. It makes them easy targets for spirits whose only job is to terrify, because it goes unnoticed. Unchecked. Unidentified.
It gets labeled as an age thing, it gets labeled as monsters under the bed. Wild imagination. But it is as real as you or I.
The reason this changes with age is because children learn to brick and mortar that connection. They shut their magic off. And it is not until much later in life that they will learn to take down that wall, that they must to become fully themselves.
Because there is a portion of their power that will always lie behind that wall. Calling to come home.
Listening to children is essential. Not making a joke about what terrifies them. Trusting yourself when something doesn't feel right.
For Ezekiel what it felt like when experiencing those night terrors was being caught in a vortex, so far from me, even though I was right there.
I could see that distance in Ezekiel's eyes during those episodes and it was terrifying. No one understood. How could I even explain?
Children feel what we refuse to. I was also struggling with seeing and feeling things that were not considered normal for being a person on earth.
It affected me, made me second guess myself. But the impact that had on Z was horrific.
Imagine if I would have just chosen to medicate. Or self resolve. Or yell at Z because I was just too tired. Ezekiel would have gotten further and further from me. To a very dark place and part of Ezekiel would have stayed there until Z found that part again.
Living life angry, disconnected, confused denying a huge part of self.
But I trusted myself. I got help. I helped myself. And I helped Ezekiel.
The language of energy is so important in raising your children. I don't want to imagine the mother I would have had to become if I would have chosen to ignore it.
Because I didn't. And I am here today, confident. Deeply knowing myself so I can deeply know my kids. I am so thankful.