One day, Ezekiel came up to me and he asked "Mom, do I make you sad?" I said, "No way, love. You don't MAKE me anything, I am in control of my own emotions. Just like you don't you make me happy. I am in charge of my own happiness. I love being with you, you make life so fun, but you are not in charge of making me happy. He said" Oh, well sometimes I get mad at you."
I say: "I totally get that, I get mad too sometimes, but it's not because of you. I am in charge of my reactions, just like you are. We can still be friends and be mad at each other. We just have to talk it out, that's all."
So, no, my kids don't make me happy or sad or mad, only I have the power to do that for myself. Looking within instead of looking without, nothing of worth will come of that. My house doesn't crumble dependent on anyone else but me. All my power is for me and I find freedom and power in knowing that.
So, when I ask Ezekiel is I make him happy and he answers "NO." Then I have given him the tools to create a full life for himself and that is all I can ever do for my kids. We are not half of a whole, we are not waiting to be completed. We are whole the day we are born.
Be conscious in your speech, your emotions and your choices, even with your kids. <3