I create success by including my children into my self care, resisting a "go to bed, get away from me so I can self care!!!" approach. Because of this, I can maintain, I can keep my cool, I can breathe while they are around me. I meditate or chant or hum affirmations at the park, in the shower, during dance class. I fill myself while they are having fun. I must. If I do not, I associate my children with the idea that THEY empty me. They do not empty me, the way I parent empties or fills me. The expectations I carry, the insecurities, that is what depletes me. Not my children. They only shed light to where I am lacking. They say with their being "Hey, mama, we want to remind you of your own limitless potential." I self parent. I hug my inner child when she is feeling reactionary. I sing to her and tell her she is good. I fill myself because in looking to anyone or anything outside of myself for that, I will be setting myself up for failure, I will be setting that relationship up for failure and resentment.
It is up to me to connect with myself, before I can even know how to connect with my kids.
Include your kids in your self care. Hold your hand over your heart and know that you are love, deep breathe with them at the grocery store, share with them your coping mechanisms so they see it as normal, they remember the feeling it gave you, of calmness, of laughter, the ability to be present and they can carry that on into their own lives forever.