In leaving this year, I leave behind a lot of things. I enter a new year without the pregnancy I thought would come with me. All the preparation that I was so excited for just...stopped. It's a hard thing to leave behind. Some days I don't want to progress, I don't want to feel, I just want to stay in bed all day and cry at my empty uterus. But with a new year, comes new adventure and you know I'm all about adventure.
Saying goodbye to this year will be hard, painful, even, but the passing of time is the one thing I can count on in this realm and that also brings me comfort.
I am looking forward. Forward to all the good things that I know are coming: My boys growing up, Escher's growing vocabulary, Ezekiel's FOURTH year. I look forward to picking up and mending my broken heart, to discover who I am again, to truly LIVE and love in all areas of my life, to love myself.
So, come, Tomorrow! I will celebrate, I will celebrate and mourn in similar breathes. I will dance away my sadness and maybe drink a little bit because why not. 2016 will be awesome, because I say so.
Love to you, always